The Secret to Having It All

My husband and I recently went through a midlife crisis. No, he didn’t buy a Harley, nor a Porsche, and I didn’t go under the knife for a full “mommy makeover,” but we did spend the entire summer discontent and restless; looking to trade our lives in for an upgraded model.

It started as dissatisfaction with a few aspects of our lives, but soon we were disgruntled about everything; our daughter’s school, our house, our neighborhood, this very town. The more we found to be negative about, the more we found to be negative about; you know what I’m talking about, right? It’s like once you get that itchy, complaining, discontent ball rolling, it’s hard to curb, especially when you have a partner in it.

Soon we longed to be somewhere, anywhere else and to our surprise, an opportunity came up. My husband got a job in the promised land that is San Diego. His start date was Dec. 15th. We were working with a realtor to buy a house down south and another one to sell our home here. San Diego was happening. So, why weren’t we excited? Why weren’t we celebrating? Why weren’t we taking trips to view our ever-growing list of potential new homes?

These questions haunted us until we realized this relocation wasn’t what we wanted. Mark has two well-paying jobs here. My family, our support system, is a mile away. We have a beautiful home that we’ve spent time and money making our own over the years. I have a thriving ministry at our church. Ava started her school year after we made our decision and it was going surprisingly well. Ventura is funky, but it’s home.

We realized we didn’t have a location problem; we had an ingratitude problem.

We pulled out of the job and relocation; disappointing new bosses and much-loved friends; it’s still my one regret. I wish we had known the right decision for us earlier, but it took this process to figure it out. It’s like breaking off an engagement; ideally, the relationship doesn’t get that far in the first place, but better to break it off than go ahead with a wedding only for it to inevitably end in divorce. We felt peace for the first time in months.

While scrolling through social media the other day, I came across a quote that hit me like a ton of bricks:The secret to having it all is knowing you already do.

Simple yet profound, my favorite combination when it comes to words. On the heels of our “midlife crisis,” this message meant everything because it sums up our last couple of months perfectly. We’ve gone from dissatisfied about everything to downright giddy about all we have. It’s Thanksgiving, the season of gratitude and there’s so much to be grateful for, right under our noses.

Whole 30, Whole Me Part 2 And Shameless Plug

This post is Part 2 of Whole 30, Whole Me. Click here to read Part 1.

Mark and I been on Whole30 for almost three months now. Once we completed the initial 30 days, we cheated for Ava’s 6th birthday, a date night and Mark’s birthday. Two of the three times (the birthdays) were stamped with an enthusiastic “WORTH IT!” The other cheat, a date night gone wild, left us feeling bloated, sluggish, foggy-brained and hung over. Not worth it. Continue reading

Whole 30, Whole Me Part 1

EG Quote

I recently became sick of my own BS regarding my health. I had a ton of excuses as to why I’d put it on the backburner: I’m a busy mom of two small children, the writer’s life is a sedentary one, I’m an adult; free to eat and drink what I want. The truth was: I was out of control. I was twenty pounds overweight, I lacked self-discipline and I felt sluggish. Continue reading

Divine Appointment


I need to write. I have a deadline.

The kids need their mom. You have a deadline, but you have kids too, remember? 

I do, thank you.

I know! I could go to the gym, work out for an hour and then leave them in the childcare for another hour or two to get some work done. 

That sounds like a blast for them.

No really, I’d bring them lunch in between working out and working. They love the childcare at the gym. 

It’s Saturday and it’s beautiful outside, you should take them to the park.” Continue reading

Let’s Do This, 2017!

coffee-notebook-pencil-work-desk-163131A new year.  A fresh start. I’m such a sucker for new and fresh, the hope and crispness get me every time. I have big plans for 2017 and I’m so excited to jump into them. My goals for this year, in order of importance:

God. Loving God and following hard after Him.

  • Wake up at 5am every morning to spend time with God through Bible study and prayer.

Continue reading

Goodbye 2016, Hello 2017!

dsc_0094As I sat down early yesterday morning, the last day of 2016, to reflect upon the year one word stuck out to me, refining. It was a resetting, refocusing, refining year for me and my marriage and my family. This was already true by the very beginning of 2016, God had called me to lay down my beloved ministry at our church three months earlier in November in order to focus on my family during Luke’s surgery and recovery and most likely longer. I wasn’t happy about this; I was weepy and downright angry. Continue reading

4 Powerful Questions To Ignite Change

I was on staff at my church two and a half years ago when they brought in a consultant to help us navigate through the rapid growth we were experiencing. I was on maternity leave at the time but I attended the two day session anyways because I’m a leadership nerd and love that kind of stuff. I brought my nursing six week old baby boy with me. While he vacillated between sleeping and screaming, I asked myself a question I asked often during those days of parenting a three year old and an infant, “Why do I even try?

As I planned my exit, our lead pastor leaned over and said, “Relax.” I took a deep breath and settled back into my seat. As I relaxed, so did my son. I’m so thankful I stayed that day because I learned a tool for taking a current inventory and leading change that is so powerful, so versatile, and so simple that I use it at least once a week in all aspects of my life. Continue reading