The Secret to Having It All

My husband and I recently went through a midlife crisis. No, he didn’t buy a Harley, nor a Porsche, and I didn’t go under the knife for a full “mommy makeover,” but we did spend the entire summer discontent and restless; looking to trade our lives in for an upgraded model.

It started as dissatisfaction with a few aspects of our lives, but soon we were disgruntled about everything; our daughter’s school, our house, our neighborhood, this very town. The more we found to be negative about, the more we found to be negative about; you know what I’m talking about, right? It’s like once you get that itchy, complaining, discontent ball rolling, it’s hard to curb, especially when you have a partner in it.

Soon we longed to be somewhere, anywhere else and to our surprise, an opportunity came up. My husband got a job in the promised land that is San Diego. His start date was Dec. 15th. We were working with a realtor to buy a house down south and another one to sell our home here. San Diego was happening. So, why weren’t we excited? Why weren’t we celebrating? Why weren’t we taking trips to view our ever-growing list of potential new homes?

These questions haunted us until we realized this relocation wasn’t what we wanted. Mark has two well-paying jobs here. My family, our support system, is a mile away. We have a beautiful home that we’ve spent time and money making our own over the years. I have a thriving ministry at our church. Ava started her school year after we made our decision and it was going surprisingly well. Ventura is funky, but it’s home.

We realized we didn’t have a location problem; we had an ingratitude problem.

We pulled out of the job and relocation; disappointing new bosses and much-loved friends; it’s still my one regret. I wish we had known the right decision for us earlier, but it took this process to figure it out. It’s like breaking off an engagement; ideally, the relationship doesn’t get that far in the first place, but better to break it off than go ahead with a wedding only for it to inevitably end in divorce. We felt peace for the first time in months.

While scrolling through social media the other day, I came across a quote that hit me like a ton of bricks:The secret to having it all is knowing you already do.

Simple yet profound, my favorite combination when it comes to words. On the heels of our “midlife crisis,” this message meant everything because it sums up our last couple of months perfectly. We’ve gone from dissatisfied about everything to downright giddy about all we have. It’s Thanksgiving, the season of gratitude and there’s so much to be grateful for, right under our noses.

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